Patience

I just love this little angel boy so much. He has a great big chunk of my heart held tight in his little fist. When his mom and dad decided to find a new nanny I told my husband "it feels like I just got broken up with". He said they would realize what they had. He was right. Just like an immature high school boy who broke up with his sweet girlfriend for a girl on cheer team and then got burned, they want me back. They realized no one else could love that angel boy as much as I do. They realized how much I cared about what is best for their kids. (I bet they also realized that most other nannies don't make gourmet dinners, either.) This time I'm back on my own terms.

Looking into his sweet eyes makes me want my own. If I can love him so much, I can't imagine how much I would love one that I helped make. One I don't have to give back at the end of the day. Mike gets frustrated when I think this way. He is the practical one of the two of us. He tells me "be patient". He thinks about his car that is about to break down. He thinks about the mortgage payment we will be paying in a few weeks. He thinks about my "career". I don't care about all of that. I just want an angel boy of my own to hold. But I know Mike is right.... I will try to be patient.

This post is all over the place...

First of all, I want to proclaim my love for my husband.
I love him despite all of the annoying things he does, like....

*Swearing he's not totally head over heels for Gia on The Bachelor, even though he gets a shit-eating grin on his face every time she's on the screen
*Telling me I probably shouldn't sleep in too much tomorrow (I'm a big girl, thank you very much!)
*Leaving his chili bowl in the living room all night long for me to scrape
*Making little piles of mail and such all over every surface in our house

I really do dig him. When he gives me a kiss while I'm still asleep before he leaves for work, or when I see that he bought ORGANIC eggs instead of the cheap ones, my heart kinda swells up.

By the way; Sharon Osbourne keeps using words like "brilliant" and "attractive" on the Today show. I'm going to use those two words as many times as I can today.

Can you tell I'm unemployed? Yep, I'm nestled on the couch sans-bra and it's almost noon. At least I took out the garbage when I woke up.

Just in case you were wondering we are officially sub-leasing our apartment out. We will be moving into my grandparents house in about 2 weeks. And I'm going to start an airbrush tanning business. And I have kept those 6+ lbs off AND ditched weight watchers. Hooray! Unfortunately we might not be buying a house, but I won't dwell on that now...

What I really wanted to write about today is something I learned from Oprah and Rosie. They were discussing stepping out of your past, and living in the now. It sounds really obvious, but you don't have to let your past define you. That was really an epiphany for me. I know that that experiences shape you into who you are and you can never have regret, but allowing those past experiences to haunt you just isn't OK. It's my job to shape who I am. All of those yucky experiences and yucky people that came in and out of my life as a kid are OVER. Even the bad ways that I dealt with those yucky situations are OVER. How amazing is it that I have a brand new life to shape however I want. I'm pretty excited about God's plan for me. And so far I have a great team mate and a blank slate. I still have no idea what is in store. Literally NO IDEA. But that's what's so beautiful about it. So there, yuckiness!! Get away! I have my own story to write now. I'm gonna live in this moment.


If you're secretly reading my blog, you should leave a comment. Let me know how you are living in this moment and freeing yourself from the chains of the past. We can all use a little support and community!! Love you guys.