October 26

Today was another eventful day.

I have been cultivating an enormous "cyst" between my eyes right next to my right eyebrow. Cyst is just the nice word the dermatologist uses to describe an unusually large zit. Partly because it was starting to impede my sunglasses-wearing capabilities, and partly because we are having family pictures taken on Thursday, I finally broke down and called the dermatologist yesterday. They squeezed me in this morning to get an injection this morning. Oh the joys of hormonal issues.

A few minutes after I made the appointment, I got a call for an interview. I was pretty stoked. It is a job I would actually love to have. I scheduled the interview for 10:30.

And then it dawned on me...I was going to have an injection in my face and then immediately drive to an interview looking like Quasimodo. Excellent!

Well today the derm was running behind and I started getting nervous that I would be late to my interview. After sweating it out I finally called and let them know I was running behind. They gave me the PAINFUL injection and then stuck a bandaid on it. A bandaid! That I couldn't take off for a few hours! I was planning on covering up the little bump with concealer so I didn't look quite so bad but now that wasn't an option.

By the time I got there late and with my bandaid on I was really frazzled. I'm afraid that I may I have sounded a little...ditsy. Ugh.

But the day got better... Mom-Mom and I made a beautiful headboard for my bedroom.
I'll post pictures later!

A good week

I'm so excited for this week! Last night I finished up my finals. It was a huge relief. Now I get to put my life back together and get ready for this great week I have ahead of me. It is my cousins birthday on Monday so we this Friday we are having a family birthday party for her! the big 1-9. I'm getting twisters enchiladas and goodness knows Mexican food makes a good party! And then on Saturday is my Halloween Masquerade Cocktail Party!

It's time to get my house clean, my list of hors d'ouevres picked out, and a grocery list made. Plus, a little trip to the liquor store to see what kind of pumpkin martinis I can whip up.

When I figure out what kind of finger foods I'm going to make I'll post that up here.

I better get busy!!

PS: I begin my last three classes today!! Only 8 more weeks until I graduate!

The Interim.

My grandma is back in town. We call her Mom-Mom. I'm so glad she's back. We go shopping and make my house look pretty together. The best part is when we just talk.

I have been feeling a little...stuck...lately. It felt good to talk to her about it. Talking made me realize while I'm stuck.

I'm a planner. I've always had a plan for my life and I just tweak it with the twists in the road. The problem with right now is, I never saw it coming. I knew I would be a student. I knew I will be a mom. What I didn't expect was the time in between. The interim.

Since I didn't know there would ever be an interim, I didn't make a plan for it. I feel like I'm standing at a fork in the road, but instead of there being two paths to choose from, there are many. Maybe ten, maybe more.

I'm thankful that I have choices. I'm thankful that I have a supportive husband with a great job that allows me the freedom to figure out what's next. Sometimes I think I need to be more aware of how blessed I am with that freedom that so many others don't have. And I need to be more careful communicate to him how thankful I am.

Because it's so much easier to focus on how overwhelming all of these choices are. I can be overwhelmed and thankful, cant I?

"When there is a mountain to climb, waiting won't make it smaller."

That's what the postcard that Mom-Mom left on my car the other night said. It so true. But what mountain should I climb?

"You Were Like A Mom to Me"

The other day I was reading through my senior yearbook, and a couple of the messages said things like, "you were like a mom to me".

What does that mean!?

It's a little weird. Especially since one of the people who said that was my ex-boyfriend. ew.

Do I take that as a compliment or a put down? Because really it's both. I'm SUPER maternal. I feel like I need to take care of everyone, whether it's my sister, my cousin, or even a friend who lived in our house and ate our food and was totally ungrateful. I just have something in me that wants to nurture and care and worry about everyone.

Maybe that's why I have always wanted to be a mom. I need some kids to take care of so I can stop worrying about everyone else. Even when I thought there were no men in the world worthy of marrying (before I met Mike, of course) my plan was to adopt a bunch of rainbow babies.

Lots of my friends dreamt about their careers or their husbands. I just dreamt about my babies. So now that I am trying to take a little pause to just be a married couple and enjoy and appreciate what I have right this moment, that mommy part of me is getting a little restless again. It's a hard balance when all of my girlfriends sit around and talk about going out or what they did at work and I have nothing to relate to. I am an online student/stay at home wifey. But, if I want to be a stay at home mommy some day I need to figure out a way to get over that. Maybe I need some friends who get just as excited about coming up with a delicious new pasta salad recipe as I do. Or maybe I just need to be more secure and confident in the fact that my life is different.

Because there will always be a little part of me that is a mommy, even if I don't have any kids. I may try to ignore that part for a little while, and that's probably a good idea, but it isn't going anywhere.