"You Were Like A Mom to Me"

The other day I was reading through my senior yearbook, and a couple of the messages said things like, "you were like a mom to me".

What does that mean!?

It's a little weird. Especially since one of the people who said that was my ex-boyfriend. ew.

Do I take that as a compliment or a put down? Because really it's both. I'm SUPER maternal. I feel like I need to take care of everyone, whether it's my sister, my cousin, or even a friend who lived in our house and ate our food and was totally ungrateful. I just have something in me that wants to nurture and care and worry about everyone.

Maybe that's why I have always wanted to be a mom. I need some kids to take care of so I can stop worrying about everyone else. Even when I thought there were no men in the world worthy of marrying (before I met Mike, of course) my plan was to adopt a bunch of rainbow babies.

Lots of my friends dreamt about their careers or their husbands. I just dreamt about my babies. So now that I am trying to take a little pause to just be a married couple and enjoy and appreciate what I have right this moment, that mommy part of me is getting a little restless again. It's a hard balance when all of my girlfriends sit around and talk about going out or what they did at work and I have nothing to relate to. I am an online student/stay at home wifey. But, if I want to be a stay at home mommy some day I need to figure out a way to get over that. Maybe I need some friends who get just as excited about coming up with a delicious new pasta salad recipe as I do. Or maybe I just need to be more secure and confident in the fact that my life is different.

Because there will always be a little part of me that is a mommy, even if I don't have any kids. I may try to ignore that part for a little while, and that's probably a good idea, but it isn't going anywhere.