Like I said yesterday, I have been a little disenchanted lately. It's taking extra work to appreciate the small things and focus on the positive.
Today I am frustrated with my job. I don't like the passive-aggressive way that angel boy's dad suggests I should do things differently.
I am also frustrated with school. And I could make a whole laundry list of other things that are less than great in my life.
What I have been beginning to realize is that I need to take ownership of my life. It's no one else's fault that I'm frustrated. I made the choices I made because they seemed like the best option. So far, they have allowed me to avoid less preferable situations.
I am really blessed to have a flexible job. A job that I get paid well for. A job that I get to hang with a little boy all day. It can be stressful. Isn't life stressful!? This is my job. I chose it. I will be thankful for it. I will be humble.
I have most of my brain cells intact. I have all of my limbs. I have some money in my bank account. I have a home. I am one of the few women in this world with the opportunity to get an education. I have a wonderful companion. I have a great support system.
I should not be complaining about anything.
I am blessed.
I need to see my life that way.
Its my life. Need more friends? Make some! Need to lose a few pounds? Exercise! Behind in school? Do my homework! Bored at work? Make a plan!
No one else is going to do these things for me. I can't just wish to be happier or thinner or healthier and expect it to happen. I have to DO IT. I can't expect anyone to motivate me. I have to motivate myself.
I am a goal oriented person. My new goal is to do. No more mindless internet searching. No more staring at my paper. No more pointless trips to Target. No more recorded episodes of oprah while I eat expensive cheese. Every moment has a purpose. My new goal is to respect that purpose. Things aren't going to get any better unless I make them better.
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