One of my classmates was killed on friday night, and it made me feel like the world is a dark place. I only graduated with 130 people, so losing one of them is a hard hit for all of us. I didn't know him well, but his friend who was driving the car is good friends with my brother in law. He was always around making the rest of us smile. I'm praying for both families.
I felt the darkness all around me. I was focused on all of the awful things that happen in this world. I was having a hard time finding the sunshine in every day life. And then I realized that this could happen to anyone at any time. I realized that we are all His children and he can call us home whenever He is ready. We have to enjoy every moment we have with those we love. We have to love those around us a little more. I know I have been holding Mike a little tighter.
I having been thinking a lot about resentment lately. I carry a lot of resentment around. There are a few people in particular that broke my trust and I resented them for that. I have realized that resentment is only a burden to myself. It does nothing to the people who have hurt me. Carrying it around is a heavy load on my back that I am CHOOSING to carry. Now I am choosing to let that resentment go. I am choosing to realize that we are all human. We all make mistakes. We all have insecurities. We all have hurt one of our friends, whether intentionally or not. I am not perfect. I will not expect others to be. There are reasons and hurt behind every poor choice someone makes.
I want to live every day knowing that I would be proud of the life I leave behind. I have no more time or energy for resentment. I'm gonna clean out a dark little place in my heart, wipe away the cobwebs, and let some love and light in. I'm going to love those people. I am going to focus on what we have in common rather than our differences. No more grudges. I need to know that if I don't wake up tomorrow, I have lived a loving life. I need to know that if I lose a friend, I had showed them all the love I could.
May God be with all of the friends that have been lost, all of the families that have been grieving.
Love with all you have while you have the chance.
RIP MH
Kat, I am just so sorry for your loss. I think you are taking some beautiful things out of it though. We could all be called home at any time, and there is definitely something to be said for living in the now. Stay strong lady...
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