Chipping Away at the Block

So lately I have been having a lot of yucky health symptoms. Just ask my husband, I have been whining about them all, including:

nausea
migraines
shortness of breath
fatigue
stomach aches
achne

Yep, all of those have surfaced in the last few weeks. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself and considering making a doctors appointment. I really hate going to the doctor though, because usually they just tell you what you already know and send you home. One day I was imagining what my doc would ask me if I actually went in, and I thought of one of the questions: "Could this be stress related?'

Bingo!

Stress...that's what it is. That totally explains all of my ridiculous ailments and my moodiness. In fact, it basically explains everything.

I talked to Mike about my new revelation. I told him how I am so overwhelmed and I don't even know how to fix it. I told him how I feel like a failure because my stress is paralyzing me and making me feel weak and helpless and tired. I also told him that I know I have been really moody and cranky and that I feel bad. He stopped me with a look of bewilderment.
"You know that you have been moody!?"
"Of course I know!", I said through my tears.
"I had no idea"

How could he not know? I was just as shocked as he was. I feel like a bad wife because I know I am totally emotional and that I overreact to A LOT of situations. He has good reason to be impatient with me. I yell at him when he doesn't clean the way I would. I get frustrated when he doesn't do things EXACTLY my way. And then the next day when I am sitting around doing nothing, I get resentful knowing that he will come home and be upset that I haven't gotten anything done.

I know how crazy that sounds. I know how unfair it is. I feel awful. I need to fix it.

I tried to explain that I know it's not his fault even though I act like it is sometimes.

Together we made a list of all the things we need to get done. He reminded me that the only way to shrink my stress is to chip away at the block. The block just seems so big to me that it's impossible. Writing it down on our little dry erase board made it feel more conquerable.

Get caught up in school
Make a plan for after graduation
Clean house
Organize fridge
Lose 10 lbs.
Get a haircut
Return clothes to Costco
Clean garage
Hang garage door opener
Do laundry and put it away
Clean master bed & bath
Put treadmill together
Pay school bill

See...not so bad! Some of those items are going to be on the list a lot longer than others, but so far 7 out of the 13 are crossed off!

I am working on crossing more items off the list to make me feel better instead of growing resentful.

Once again, I am so lucky to have a husband who is so forgiving and understanding and helpful.