I finally bought some things on etsy. I bought a yellow crocheted bangle, crocheted flower appliques (to wear in my hair, of course), and homemade soaps. I'm pretty excited about getting these lovely little packages in the mail. I'm sure they will add instant sunshine to my day. One of the descriptions I came across on etsy used the word apricot to describe an orange throw. Apricot. That word sent me to another place. It made my mouth water as I imagined getting canned apricots out of the storage fridge at my Honey's house and eating them in oatmeal, or on top of vanilla ice cream, or the best way- with a spoon straight out of the jar. I envisioned the beautiful color of those jars lining the inside of the retro refrigerator and the sweet smell of her house- an odor consisting of peanut butter cookies, coffee, and VapoRub. Anyone who loved Honey as much as me knows that smell like the back of their hand.

And Honey's apricots made me think of Grandma Wooding's strawberry jam. Running across the lawn in our PJs and seeking comfort on the other side of the sliding glass door. Sitting down at the table where Jesus and Mary stare at you from their frames on the wall and eating the best pancakes you've ever had covered in that wonderful pink strawberry jam and real melted butter. Heaven. After Grandma Wooding passed away last fall I had one little jar of that jam from Auntie Di's freezer that I savored like it was caviar. Even Mike liked that jam and he doesn't even like jam! And then....Tom threw it away. He thought it was moldy cherries that his mom had given him. But it wasn't cherries at all!! It was that sweet, tangy, strawberry jam!! The last jar of grandmas jam that I could ever have. I called my cousin because she is the only one who could understand how upsetting it is to have your jam thrown out. After we got over our shock, we vowed that we would start the tradition of making jam every summer.

Well, now it's December. The summer has passed and no jam. But from this moment on I vow to learn how to can (or jar? are they the same thing??). And I'm gonna can apricots and strawberry jam like its nobody's business. And I'm gonna think of Honey, and Grandma, and vaporrub, and the Virgin Mary while I do it. And it will be pure bliss.