Today I feel inspired and capable. The clouds have cleared. The storms are few and far between and I can see more clearly now. I know I can. "I can do what?", you may ask. The answer - anything I want to.
I can paint pictures. I can try new recipes. I can grow herbs in my backyard. I can make preserves and pickles and all kinds of things with the beautiful flesh of fruits and vegetables from the farmer's markets. I can feel the sunshine on my cheeks and the breeze on my shoulders. I can read all about new things without feeling inadequate for not knowing them already. I can feel accomplished from all of the new things I teach myself to do. I can feel God's hand holding mine. Or Mike's hand holding mine. Or both of their hands holding each of mine- while I struggle to try new things. Isn't that a beautiful thought? Just close your eyes and imagine God holding your hand like you are his little child. And then think of the people who love you holding your other hand.
Today I am happy for the future. I am not intimidated or scared. And whatever happens I know that I can find this happy place again. It may be hard. It may not be all the time. But at least I can remember that it exists. I know that I have a journey. I'm gonna stop worrying about it. I will find what I will be and do along that journey. I will stop forcing myself to try to know what I don't know. I don't know where I will work or if I will work or what I will do. I don't know when I will be a mommy or how. And that's ok. The plans God has for me will unfold as I walk along.
I hope that when the walls start closing in again and the clouds are over my head again and I feel like the weight on my shoulders is too much to carry I remember this peace I have in my heart right now.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew (6:34)
The things I want to be:
Happy.
Fulfilled.
Busy.
Inspired.
Motivated.
Sane.
Witty.
Appreciative.
Faithful.
In love.
Capable.
Reflective.
Humble.
Confident.
And I know I can. What do each of those words mean to you?
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THis is a beautiful post. I am glad you are feeling clear headed and inspired. I know how hard going through trials can be I hate it when I feel like all those walls are closing in :( I love the words witty, humble, reflective and confident.
ReplyDeleteThe things I want to be:
ReplyDeleteHappy.
Fulfilled.
Busy.
Inspired.
Motivated.
Sane.
Witty.
Appreciative.
Faithful.
In love.
Capable.
Reflective.
Humble.
Confident.
Look - You shouldn't want to be these things..
You should JUST BE THEM..